how i use clean language and nlp with leadership clients and why it works
Let me be honest:
Most of the leaders I work with don’t need another framework.
They don’t need more theory, more models, more clever acronyms.
They need a space where truth can emerge.
Where the mask can come off — and what’s really going on can be named.
That’s why I use Clean Language and NLP.
Not as tricks.
But as tools for deep clarity.
what clean language really is
Clean Language is a way of asking questions that don’t impose your meaning on the other person.
It was developed by David Grove — and it’s deceptively simple.
It’s one of the main pillars of my Clean Communication work.
Instead of:
“Do you feel good about that decision?”
You ask:
“And when that happens… what kind of feeling is that?”
It sounds strange at first — because we’re so used to leading questions.
But that’s the point. Clean Language slows things down and keeps the spotlight on the client.
It stops coaches and leaders from fixing, guiding, or interpreting — and invites the other person to hear themselves.
how this fits into the alignment journey
Clean Language and NLP aren’t techniques I “use” on people.
They’re tools that mirror my alignment journey. Step by step.
- Clarity
Clean Language helps name what’s actually real. No buzzwords. No scripts. Just the words that actually describe your experience. - Identity
When clients describe their situation with a metaphor — like “It’s like running up stairs that keep moving” — we’re no longer talking about abstract goals. We’re talking about who they are in the moment. - Expression
NLP brings precision. It helps people move from foggy to focused — not just understanding their inner world, but expressing it clearly. Without needing to rehearse. - Congruency
When body, voice, intention, and message all line up — people feel it. You don’t need to speak louder. You need to be aligned. - Sustainability
You stop performing leadership. You lead from presence — in a way that energizes rather than depletes. That’s sustainable.
what this looks like in a session
Here’s what often happens in the room:
- The client slows down.
- They stop performing and start hearing themselves.
- Their words become more grounded.
- Metaphors show up. Images. Embodied truth.
Like:
“It’s like I’m holding it all together with duct tape.”
From there, I don’t fix. I don’t interpret. I stay with their image — because it holds more clarity than any theory I could offer.
And with NLP tools, we can test:
- What shifts their state?
- What aligns their decision?
- What clears up the language that still hides?
It’s not magic. It’s presence — plus process.
want to try this?
Ask yourself:
“And when I show up to lead… what kind of presence is that? Who am I then?” “And is there anything else about that?”
Don’t analyze. Don’t fix. Don’t impress. Just listen.
That’s how it begins.
“Real leadership doesn’t come from better answers.
It comes from the courage to ask better questions — and stay for the silence that follows.”
Want to experience what Clean + Clear feels like?
