does more mean happier?
There used to be a time when I had more stuff than I could possibly use. That didn’t happen accidentally but served two needs of mine (at least I thought so). On the one hand I wished to own things that gave me joy and on the other hand I wanted to look successful to others. I thought: once I proofed to the world (and myself) that I had success I deserve to do the crazy things I dreamed about.
Fact was, it didn’t make me happy. I became more and more dependent on working for the things I owned and I had no time to actually use them. Secretly I was longing for freedom and was wondering: when you have all the stuff you want, but are not happy, will more of what didn’t make you happy in the first place help after all?
live now or later
One day it hit me. I was living a life I did not like in order to gain the permission to live the life I love later. I realized that the only one who set up these boundaries was myself. So I focused on creating a life I love, but that came with a price tag as well. I did not make as much money as I made before and I was constantly in the struggle of having to take decisions. By eliminating the external expectations, my decisions were not running on autopilot anymore. I needed to make a case for myself and prioritize everything I do. If you are a business owner or work in a leadership role you might know what I am talking about. I did not expect that before, but it can actually become a source of stress.Eventually though, I basically created the life I love and am now living it most of the time (I guess I am still not perfect ;-).
enjoy the moment
What happened next: I find it hard to enjoy the beauty around me when I have it every day. Often I postpone nice things to tomorrow, to get “some work done” today. Unfortunately tomorrow is always tomorrow. Therefor I often don’t enjoy where I am now and what I am doing right now. Also consider the fact that you can never have everything at once. Something is always missing. Once our universe left singularity and went to duality, matter became one thing because it is not something else. In case that is too abstract; the simple version is: everything has its opposite. You can also not be at more than one location at the same time. Neither can you have two thoughts or focus on more than one thing at once. One part is always missing. How do you manage to enjoy the moment?
comfort is what you don’t have
And… things are so much nicer when they are unexpected. At least when you don‘t have them all the time. I remember a time when I lived in Africa and had only cold showers. While traveling somewhere in the bush in a remote location I had a shower and couldn‘t believe it to be a hot one. Comfort is only comfort as long as you don‘t have it on a daily basis otherwise you‘ll take it for granted. What do we do with that? Would you be willing to let go of a comfort item, just to enjoy it even more when you occasionally have access to it?
what keeps you motivated?
A question I keep asking myself though, is what keeps you (me) motivated in doing the things that are necessary, when you already have what you want.Personally I am often driven by the anticipation of the outcome. I like to work on a project because I expect something specific (or life in general) to be better afterwards. This drives me into new projects all of the time. An expectation for the better. And then, I am already seeking the next adventure.
What happens though, when you are satisfied, when you are happy with what you have? Is being satisfied and truly happy the opposition to motivation? A source of freedom for me became letting go of the need to have something. Although still desirable, it is only an option among others. I can go for it, but I don’t have to.
interaction & creation of flow
What I really enjoy is being in the flow. When I create something I forget time and everything around me. Although I love to think, being physically active causes real joy to me. That is probably one reason why I love sports and the outdoors so much.
Interacting and helping people is causing a similar spike for me. When I listen to people and react to their thoughts and needs it also gets gets me out of my own thinking. It is creative, it is problem solving and it makes a difference. When I ran my own little hotel at a beach in Zanzibar, I liked to gather all the guests at one big dinner table in the evening and bring all these different and interesting people together. I enjoyed that! Every evening!
what will remain?
Maybe the only thing that will remain when we are gone, are the memories we created in others. Maybe life is not about what we accumulated but whom we connected to and where we made a difference. I started something similar to my Zanzibar dinner tables by building my first mastermind community about 1 1/2 years ago. Now I brought it a step further by combining all clients and mastermind groups in one Simplicity Of Happiness Community. It is a network of interesting people who have their private work spaces within, but can also connect throughout the entire community. I am also offering help and support as well as coaching advice to those who like.It is probably like a facebook group without facebook or my Zanzibar dinner table without the beach. Yet you can take it with you in your pocket. It runs on a special App that is dedicated to the Simplicity Of Happiness family & friends and you are invited to join as well.
Contact me if you want to receive the invitation link to the App.
