the coaching approval paradox

I’ve crossed paths with many coaches like myself, deeply passionate about our work for the profound impact it has on our clients. There’s an undeniable joy in unraveling their struggles and leaving them in a better state than we found them. Witnessing that transformation, seeing the light in their eyes, that’s our true reward. We’re in the people pleasing business.


Yet, this noble pursuit often veers into treacherous territory – the search for approval. It’s human nature to crave recognition, to yearn for acknowledgment that we’ve made a difference. But have you ever noticed how elusive approval becomes when it’s chased relentlessly?

The irony is stark: the more we seek approval, the more it seems to slip through our fingers.

In coaching, this approval-seeking can hinder our effectiveness. What our clients truly need isn’t just our praise, but honest, constructive feedback that fosters growth. It may sting at first, but the results speak volumes.

approval-seeking trap

So, how do we break free from this approval-seeking trap?

Acknowledging that it’s part of the human condition to feel insecure at times is the first step. Embracing self-acceptance and authenticity is another. Letting ourselves off the hook with statements like, “I forgive myself for feeling insecure. Deep down, I’m driven by a desire to make a significant impact.”

Shifting our focus from external validation to personal growth is paramount. When we exude confidence in our own skin, when we’re at ease with ourselves, it naturally garners respect and genuine approval.

For us coaches, navigating this delicate balance is key to empowering our clients and ourselves on the journey of growth.

coaching mastermind

I’m in the process of curating a unique mastermind group tailored specifically for novice coaches. The aim is to cultivate a supportive community of likeminded coaches, where we can exchange invaluable insights on various aspects such as marketing strategies, budget management, and refining coaching skills.

Your input is crucial in shaping this mastermind group. I’m genuinely interested in learning about your personal struggles and triumphs—those moments that have tested your resolve and fueled your growth.

Feel free to drop a comment below or send me a private message if you’re open to sharing your journey. I’d love to connect and explore how we can support each other on this rewarding path of coaching.

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