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distraction of self worth

I had a conversation the other day about distraction. I personally went off most social media in the last month. Since I have been traveling for most of my time for the last 10 years, I love to stay in contact and read about my friends’ updates as well as posting my own. Two things changed over the last years. Somehow my news feeds consist mostly of reposts written by people I don’t know, suggested posts of people I don’t know, and ads for stuff I don’t want to buy. By now, there are so many different options that you need to check 3, 4, or even 5 different feeds, and then you have people that share everything everywhere… 

sucked into the stream

Social media for me became mostly a very easy accessible distraction, engineered to suck us into a never-ending stream of content. And when you want to create attention through your own social media, you have to play the game and create stuff that is engaging as well and helps to suck others into the stream.

depth

I like to have a deeper meaning in my conversations, I like to have depth in my relationships, and I want to take my time.

And yet I have never posted anything longer… because that exceeds the attention span…

Since I don’t post and especially since I don’t read social media posts anymore, I have written more and longer content than I have done in years. I am more focused, and I am much more relaxed. It forces me to spend more time with my own thoughts and be okay with them and with myself. I am currently very confident about my thoughts and myself.

Which brings me back to that conversation I had about distraction, distraction from an emptiness. We who have learned that everything in life has to be earned developed a work ethic that is more of a hustle culture. Not doing anything, emptiness, is laziness and then you don’t deserve… success… or whatever you dream about. So the distraction doesn’t really have to distract us from the emptiness, but from the thoughts that will fill the emptiness.

worth and purpose

The questions about worth and deserving and being loved, being wanted, being needed. And then about purpose. Why are we here in the first place? Then we need the confirmation from the outside. External validation of who we are, what we are worth. The hardest task for me is to do nothing and still be happy… and yet some of the happiest moments in my life were times when I did nothing… Just enjoyed being there. In love with life and myself.

How about you?
Did you ever have thoughts like that?
What is your go-to distraction and how do you refocus?
By the way, if you want to have a meaningful conversation about that, let us schedule a call.

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embracing failure – the key to success

Today, I want to write about a topic that many of us tend to shy away from: failure. Yep, you heard me right! We’re diving headfirst into the world of setbacks, mishaps, and moments when things don’t quite go as planned. I could write an entire book about it, and yet those were the moments I learned the most. To people striving for success, failure often seems to be an obstacle, a setback to be avoided at all costs.

How would it affect your decisions if failure were not the antithesis of success but rather an essential ingredient for achieving it? What if embracing failure were the secret sauce to unlocking your full potential and realizing your dreams?

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why i am leaving social media

Some people come into your life for a season, some for a reason, and some for a lifetime, but eventually, they all leave.

The same goes for everything else that we let into our lives.

Once upon a time, there was a life without social media for me. And guess what? I loved it for quite a while. Since I am traveling most of the time, I won’t see most of the people I meet anytime soon. Yet… I would like to stay in contact.

Social media gave me a perfect platform for that. Interaction was good, and every time I logged in, I saw real updates from real people that I knew.

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A Path to Authentic Relationships

A Personal Journey of Growth and Transformation

Join me on a journey as I share my values, beliefs, and the person I have become over the past decade. I’ll explore the essence of authentic relationships and the power of unconditional love. It’s a story of self-discovery, vulnerability, and the pursuit of genuine connections.

Embracing Authenticity: Discovering the Essence of Genuine Connections

As a coach, I’ve spent considerable time working with individuals on leadership development. Whether through one-on-one coaching or in my leadership masterminds, I’ve come to understand that leadership is more than just managing tasks. It’s about leading people and nurturing unique relationships. Every relationship harbors a desire for something from the other person. We seek collaboration, support, love, and reciprocation.

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the struggle of having everything you want

does more mean happier?

There used to be a time when I had more stuff than I could possibly use. That didn’t happen accidentally but served two needs of mine (at least I thought so). On the one hand I wished to own things that gave me joy and on the other hand I wanted to look successful to others. I thought: once I proofed to the world (and myself) that I had success I deserve to do the crazy things I dreamed about.
Fact was, it didn’t make me happy. I became more and more dependent on working for the things I owned and I had no time to actually use them. Secretly I was longing for freedom and was wondering: when you have all the stuff you want, but are not happy, will more of what didn’t make you happy in the first place help after all?

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what scares you?

I am scared to be scared.I hate this feeling of uncertainty and fear.It is not my comfort zone and things don‘t happen with ease. When I am in my comfort zone and things go well for me I feel good and happy and maybe proud of what I am doing. All of that can disappear in an instant when I am scared of something.

For a reason I did not understand for a long time I am always craving the next adventure. Putting me in scary situations over and over again:

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fearful

feeding the wild Hyena in Harar, Ethiopia (and most of all shitting my pants)

I like to see myself as a fearless adventurous guy. One, who leaves the known behind in search for the life I love.
I dream about all these different places I will visit and things I will do, but…

…sometimes I become fearful when I have a closer look at my plans. I back up because I fear it might go wrong once I am starting.

…and sometimes I become fearful once I get there. I am overwhelmed by the new situation and don’t know how to handle it. I back up to a known surrounding where I don’t feel as helpless.

happens to me all the time

Somehow this happens to me in all different situations. May the fear be about putting together a new adventure seminar, visiting a new interesting place, changing the place where I mainly live or sometimes just about publishing a new article, podcast or video.

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professional? not with me… anymore!

For the longest time in my professional career I tried to be professional, not too sloppy, not too emotional, not too esoteric, not too spiritual.

I started as a Headhunter and realized I don‘t want to fill random positions for random people in random industries. I wanted to work for human beings and lead by living an extraordinary life myself.

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simplicity – an approach of a maximalist

I am a maximalist, that’s why I became a minimalist.
What? How does that make sense?
I think it does, although it took me more than 30 years to realize. As long as I can remember I could not get enough. It did not matter whether it was playing a game, a vacation I was on, a mountain I was hiking, stuff that I owned.
I just couldn’t get enough. I wanted more and got frustrated easily when I couldn’t get it.
I believe that a major reason for me to get frustrated was, that I never focused 100% on one thing. I could do everything in life, right? The older I grew the more I realized that I could also own everything that I was longing for.

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who’s in charge of your life?

It is now about one year that I am not actively working for ESCP Europe anymore. Although that I am already living my life and worklife relatively self-determined for some years now, I can tell you that it is a huge difference when nobody expects anything from you anymore.
Furthermore and quite important to me, did my son and his mother move so far away that I have absolutely no chance on seeing him on a regular basis anymore. In fact I have seen him only ones in the last 30 month.

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