simplicity of happiness
I am scared to be scared.I hate this feeling of uncertainty and fear.It is not my comfort zone and things don‘t happen with ease. When I am in my comfort zone and things go well for me I feel good and happy and maybe proud of what I am doing. All of that can disappear in an instant when I am scared of something.
For a reason I did not understand for a long time I am always craving the next adventure. Putting me in scary situations over and over again:
We finally arrived on the 28th after 6 days at sea. Compared to our initial prediction we were 24 hours late and I was glad to see land again. After all has it been my first night sailing, my first passage and my first multi-day sail.
5 days at sea.
We finally left Barbate in Southern Spain after some days of heavy wind and rainfall.
The seas were stormy and the waves huge. Knowing that it would calm down we headed out on the 22nd. Surprisingly neither one of us did well with the rocking boat. Chloe and the cat were feeding the fishes and I felt very sick for more 48 hours.
I am sitting on a boat that is not my own for a couple of hundred miles now. We are sailing from Gibraltar to the canaries and it feels good to move. Especially having consistent wind and a working wind-vane helps covering longer distances each day.
Temperatures are getting better and I am getting used to the daily watch schedule. That leaves me with some time to write and think.
I like to see myself as a fearless adventurous guy. One, who leaves the known behind in search for the life I love.
I dream about all these different places I will visit and things I will do, but…
…sometimes I become fearful when I have a closer look at my plans. I back up because I fear it might go wrong once I am starting.
…and sometimes I become fearful once I get there. I am overwhelmed by the new situation and don’t know how to handle it. I back up to a known surrounding where I don’t feel as helpless.
Somehow this happens to me in all different situations. May the fear be about putting together a new adventure seminar, visiting a new interesting place, changing the place where I mainly live or sometimes just about publishing a new article, podcast or video.
I knew I want to travel the world. I knew I want to go sailing. I knew I want to go South.
I recently found out that I want to travel as light as possible… even on the water. I was looking for a boat that is as small as possible and still be safe enough to do some serious sailing. After my experience with Emma, our 45 year old Mercedes Camper Van, I knew I want to travel with a boat that is easy to maintain, wherever I am on this planet.
Time changes! All the time!
As one second and one moment always connects to the next one, life feels like a constant flow.
On the one hand it actually is and on the other hand all we have is NOW. Decisions are always taken now. Although you can take the experiences from the past into account it remains the moment of now that you take your decision.
I was thinking about this project for quite a while. In fact it has been a dream of mine since I saw sailing boats for the first time and could feel a glimpse of the freedom that it would mean to travel the ocean.
Tony ist zurück 😉
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