Posts Tagged: mindfulness

happy#144 – dealing with fear

Fear seems to be one of the most limiting factors in life. As true love can be the most motivating one and is able to move mountains or tear them down fear can build them up.
The strange things about fear though is, that fear happens only in your head and mostly deals with the future. Can you even remember the last time that you were frightened here and now?
This happens only in situations that are really dangerous for you and it makes sense to run away or fight.
It is activating your fight or flight response. As a constant process in your head and in your body it may be even quite harmful.

As the thing that you are worrying about is in the future it can help to let the fearful idea go and focus on a positive outcome instead. At least a way to manage a way to take. responsibility for your action and take the decisions that serve you best.

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happy#143 – sometimes sh*t happens

Last time I promised you a feedback about my time in Zanzibar and well… here we go. This has been a disturbing time for in May and I had my struggles to focus on the positive side of things.
Yet, what does it do any good to not not see things positive. It is as it is and the only thing truly matters, is the question of who to be in relation to that.

Therefor I decided to not go too much into detail. I did not unroll the details and the lies that happened but focused more on telling what happened when and where to give a rough idea about the situation.
I am not going publicly after someone. Sometimes things go wrong after all. The only thing that I am fighting for is driven by my sense of honesty. If we close the whole thing down, that is sad. If somebody else is taking over based on lies and then tries to generate an own income, with work he did not put in and money he did not invest himself, I feel betrayed.
Although letting go of stuff can be truly liberating, accepting dishonesty leads towards a society that I don’t feel comfortable to be a part of.

I strongly believe that each one has the right to be different. I want that right to be based on honesty and understanding. I think it is helpful to speak up against it publicly. No matter if  family, a group of friends, a business or a whole society is involved.

Don’t give room for betrayel and grief and fight for honesty, transparency, understanding and loving care!

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who’s in charge of your life?

It is now about one year that I am not actively working for ESCP Europe anymore. Although that I am already living my life and worklife relatively self-determined for some years now, I can tell you that it is a huge difference when nobody expects anything from you anymore.
Furthermore and quite important to me, did my son and his mother move so far away that I have absolutely no chance on seeing him on a regular basis anymore. In fact I have seen him only ones in the last 30 month.
Despite this being very frustrating, it leaves me being responsible for nobody at the moment.
Since I have reduced my financial obligation to almost zero in the last years… not being dependent on anyone and not being responsible for anyone is quite an unusual situation to me.
Apart from true freedom, this can also be very scary. I can or even have to ask myself for every single action I do: what is purpose behind it and why are you about to do it?
The only one who can put a reason behind it is myself. There is absolutely no one left to blame in on. Every single step is purely because I take an active decision for it.
This has, if you look at it closely, always been the case… (just like in your life) and still did I so often try to find an excuse, why something is somehow just not my choice and others make me do this or that.

Does that idea sound familiar to you? Well, realizing that whatever situation you are in, it were your own previous choices that brought you there is the first place.
Realizing that is the first step to personal freedom.
The scary thing though, is that freedom doesn’t always feels like fun. It sometimes is hard work. Being responsible for your own thoughts and actions will give you no other choice than put you actions where your mouth is.
You are the only one in charge on where life will take you. You are the only one to put in the work that will take you to where you want to be?
But guess what?
You will have to go through some ups and downs. You might ask yourself not only what you’d enjoy most… while making your way towards your goal, but also what you’d be willing to suffer.
Be honest with yourself. Are there things, that you are just not going to do? Maybe you go down a different road instead?
So, where did this lead me, you might ask?

I realized that I love to inspire people. I want to help improve peoples life. I also love to travel, be outside and be physical active. I love to create lasting memories. I want to be on an adventure. I love motivating people to join me on a journey. I love to share my stories.
I am ok with sitting my butt down and record my ideas for a podcast, write it down for a blog post, record a video for a publication.
I am ok, improving my website, cutting the podcast and videos. I am fine with sitting down with people on very specific times to help them overcome their own obstacles.

I absolutely hate to talk people into something. I don’t enjoy building a marketing funnel. I don’t want to create an event where I then have to sell it to people to join.

Let’s take the Caveman Lodge for example. I don’t want to find people whom I need to talk into a vacation in Zanzibar and then into staying at my Lodge. No I want to do it the other way around. Be found be people who are looking for a vacation anyway. Put my offering out and help them to have a remarkable time while they are there.
It turned out that I want to do something quite similar with Happylife.Coach.
I’ll tell you what that is in my next posting.

KIDZ

This is why we founded a children education project: KIDZ.

Although I believe one should not put too much meaning in the end of the year I am still using the date for a little review of the old and an outlook into the new year. Especially with Christmas season, plenty of time, new year and my birthday all within two weeks there are quiet a few reasons for a review.

End of December I came back from 4 weeks in Zanzibar and had family and friends time in the Swiss mountains. I love the difference between the winter and the tropical island and gives me the opportunity to get the best out both world.

One thing lacking in Zanzibar is education though. I am not talking about an European school or value system at all. I mean having enough basic knowledge to be able to form an own opinion. In contrast to that the local eduction focuses on stupid repetition only.

Therefor the only way to receive an ‚important‘ and/or ‚powerful‘ position later in life is through intransparency, misinformation or just force.

Most people in Zanzibar fit into one of the following roles, the dictating authoritative or the repressed person. Sometimes people are both depending on the situation. Both roles lead to a stagnation in society, which nobody enjoys. Almost everybody you ask, is unhappy about the lack of possibilities, the amount of wages being paid, the ongoing corruption, the inability of the officials and so on.

It is sad that although nobody likes the status quo, nobody is able or willing to change for the better. I belief that one major reason for that is education, which be it at home or at school consists mainly of two things: shut up and repeat.

Young people learn to sneak around, not getting caught and repeating what is expected without understanding why. Society is a mirror of that.

Now that I somehow slipped into being a Hotel owner in the most southern village in Zanzibar I asked myself what to do about it. I thought that I have the chance to either complain as well or do something about it and I chose the latter.

Back in Switzerland we founded the association „KIDZ individual development for Zanzibar“ K-I-D-Z.org and we are collecting donations to send as many kids from Kizimkazi as possible to a private  non for profit school. At the moment private school seems to be the only form of education that makes a difference, at least until enough people become aware how important a decent education is and the public school system will start to improve.

If you want to support that idea, you can either head over to K-I-D-Z.org directly or support me on Patreon patreon.com/flohjoe where you will also support the children in Zanzibar as well as exclusive content from me.

time distortion


Do you know time distortion?

One time a moment takes for ever. Another time it seems as if time is not passing at all. You experience the same amount of time completely different then another time?

That can also happen in hypnosis. When a hypnotic subject is in a really deep hypnotic state and experiences some major internal shifts he might come back and either think he has been gone for only second when it was indeed 30 minutes or he might have experienced it as hours when it where only very few minutes.

Something similar can happen when you are very much concentrated and focused on something you do. You might drive home in the evening and can’t even recall how you got there. Or you are waiting for that airplane to finally arrive and you are so concentrated on that, that it takes for ever.

Which is, I think quiet logical, if you regard hypnosis as a very ultra high concentration state. I often use this example to show that Hypnosis it not at all anything special, or even magic whoowhoo (although it might feel like that). A hypnotic state is something very usual and common to being human.

I would even suggest that you spend your time doing stuff, where you forget about time at all. Imagine spending your day with a project where you even forgot to look at you watch and you only notice when you are done. You might come close to happiness.

one family?

Imagine somebody could tell you where you´re actually from. A journey around the world and it all sums up to be you.

This is a commercial, but well, what would happen, if you´d find out all, the people you hate most are actually your ancestors?

End the end, we are one family. Amazing:

relations matter most

This TED talk really is worth being watched. It’s about a 75 year long happiness study which comes to one conclusion: The quality of relationships is what matters most in life.

Those who were the most satisfied with their relationships in their 50s were the healthiest in their 80s. Just watch yourself:

over

without words:

more than honey

Honey and bees are such a nice metaphor. Bees dedicate their whole life to the best for the community. Bees in the summer collect nectar for honey, so their successors in the wintertime won’t starve. Only if every part of the bee community fulfills its own mission the hive can survive and thrive.

As it is such a fragile system the bees live in and it is similar in the world where they find their food. In their direct surrounding they need to find flowers that produce nectar and pollen. If it is too cold, the bees can’t fly, if it is too rainy flowers might not open and the bees can’t fly. If it becomes to hot the flowers may wither. Even in an all natural world it seems as a wonder that bees survive throughout the years.

As it happened to be I started to keep bees on myself in 2003. It fascinated me from the first moment I opened a beehive. What I had to learn while keeping bees is that nowadays life became even harder for bees. When you have the possibility to look into such a fragile structure as a bee hive, you have a direct mirror for what is going on around you.

Farmers are growing only one crop so bees starve once this crop has no more flowers. Since every part of the countryside was turned into farmland. Crops are heavily treated with pesticides, herbicides, and fungicides. No other plant than the desired crops are growing anymore.

Furthermore the applied chemicals can be found in wax and honey. If you are truly concerned about collecting a clean and precious bee products you have to worry about nature as well. On top of these problems, scientists imported a bee mite from Asia in the last century. This mite is decimating bees around the globe and industrial beekeepers started to implement chemical pharma products until the mites became resistant 10 years ago.

This shows me that it might not be healthy to engineer and to try to improve nature. Concerning the bees it might be the best, to reduce stress for them as much as possible and give them time to adapt to the mites, which means less honey for us. Bees in Asia are coping with it as well. The more we give our bees the right to reproduce as they like the more we might give them the chance to survive. I try to leave as much honey as possible to my bees and let them on their own for most of the year. That reduces the amount of honey I can collect per year but I believe this adds up to its superior quality.

These principles might apply to nature in general as much as for dealing with people especially our kids as well.

  • Don’t optimize all the time.
  • Give them space.
  • Give them the right to be imperfect.
  • Give them the freedom to learn.

Control is just an illusion!

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